if i had the power to control time i would probably just use it to sleep more
my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
keeping the streets safe
the story of my life
in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
My sister’s boyfriend wrote on 150 ping pong balls ” prom? ” and put them in her locker. She opened her locker and all the ping pong balls came out & he gave her a bouquet of flowers <333 promposal are so cute
did he say “I finally got the balls to ask you to prom ?” because if he didn’t he’s doing it wrong.
some babies were born premature, not me though, i came out as a 12 year old
47 times Old Sport is said in The Great Gatsby.
35 Gatsby to Nick
7 Gatsby to Tom
3 Gatsby to other people
2 said by other people